...2013 Thank You & Sorry...

Today is 4th January 2014..
Means that it is already 4 days after we hit the new year..
Happy New Year to all :)
Happy New Year to me,
Happy new blog template (again) for my blog..Hahahaha..

As all of you can see,almost half a year since my last post..
I am not lazy, I was just too damn busy..
So today I would like to make a new entry..

2013 past by bitter & sweet..
I would like to thank Allah for giving me a new year to face on..
I thank you dear Allah for still giving me chances on fixing my flaws..
I am sorry for my lack of attention on You..
I am not a good Ummah & I am ashamed..
Please give me more Hidayah, keep my head heart strong on becoming Your good ummah..
I thank Mama, Abah & Adik for still accepting my insanity..
I am sorry for still unable being a good child & sister..
Thank you for still accepting me for who I am..
Thank You Mak Ngah, Kak Nira & Kak Atul for still accepting me in your house..
I am sorry for not being a good Niece & Cousin..
I thank you Mak Ngah for being my second mom & I thank you both of my cousins for being a lunatic & greatest sisters in MY WORLD :D
I would like to thank my Sugar Gliders for still recognising me as their Ammie (mommy) even though I am unable to spend time with them through out that year..
I am sorry sayang for my limited time..
Thank You Nurul Zawani for being the very best practicum partner..
I cannot thank you more for all your help throughout our practicum period..
I am sorry as I know I am not a very good partner..
Thank You Madam Jasmina for being the most awesome practicum mentor..
You was the reason I am managed to complete my practical :)
Thank You Siti Amenah for being such a very good listener & reliever..
I am sorry for all my screams, for all my stress & sad story that I "force" you to listen..
I am glad to have you as my friend..
We are far apart but so much closed in heart..
Thank You for those who helped me during my harsh time, for trusting & lending me your money in order to help me settling my problem..
& I really Thank You for those who already "halalkan" the money..
Only Allah can pay you back..
Thank You MCF for being such a good company & make my heart stay strong to keep working there..
Thank You Kak Lin, Kak Lia & Kak Zura for being such a good sisters & my Guardian Angels..
I cannot thank you all of you more as I know I am not a very good younger sister..
Keep giving hard time & trouble..
I am sorry..

Last but not least,
I thank you these two person who I really don't want to mention le names..
Le couple who always make my heart breaks, & grew up the hatred day by day..
Thank you for teaching me what's life is..
Thank You for teaching me "Don't trust people easily"
Thank You for making me realized sometimes we just really need to giving up iu stead of fighting coz the thing that we are fighting for is totally un-worthy..
Thank You for making me more mature in handling a relationship..

To Her, I hope that someday you can be more mature on realizing what past is past, know how to respect other's relationship no matter how tempted your ex try to get back to you because he is already with someone else..
Don't be a fool, don't use that "pity" as your ground on every answer people ask you why you did that coz you never put your pity on me as you keep making thing more worst..
Yes, I still don't forgive you..
Don't ask me why, but try to ask yourself why am I still not opening my heart on forgiving you..
To Him, I hope that after this you realize that you cannot get what you want easily..
Learn how to appreciate what is in front of you..
Learn that you really cannot mend the heart that you already crushed so badly..
Learn that your greed really can make you lost everything..
You chose me over her, so I am the one you should focus on every second..
Not just when I am in front, while behind me you still with your sweet words catching her attention on accepting you back..
Learn to stick with your decision..
Not just say it then say "things has change"..
Learn that as the man, you are the one who should taking care of the relationship, not keep crushing it & when all are lost, You try to pick up the pieces again..
Sorry, i really don't buy that kind of method..
Now I already freed you from le relationship, you may go back to her..
I now realized after struggling so much on defending our relationship, I found out that it is totally wasting my time, energy, everything..

I am ready to face 2014..
I really don't know how my book is written in the Loh Mahfuz..
Only Allah knows..
& I know that He already planned a great journey for me..
For my self, stay strong dear Intan..
Your name resembled the most valuable gemstone one earth..
A Diamond cannot be crush so easily..
Perhaps, sooner or later i will meet the "finest diamond cutter" on earth that can cut & reshape me, & make me the most valuable "gemstone" he ever had :)


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